Tell Me Why ?

Tell me why?

At the moment I saw my result, I froze. Till now, I kept asking myself WHY? Was this really what I deserved? I couldn't believe my eyes. Lot of questions appeared in my mind - why? how come? how could this be? for what? 

And no doubt. The result was soooo good more than I asked and prayed for. I was so happy when seeing it :) Just the thing, guiltiness. I couldn't let myself get out of this matter. I did a lot of deeds which didn't relate with my study. I felt so guilty to my family especially. Why God you still loving me this much?

You will know how I feel if you're in my shoes. ( Again )

Sicknesses, friendships, study, course works, field trips, etc etc.... I messed up everything ! Everything was tumbling down! 

Lot of small little tiny bad news breaking me into pieces like the broken mirror on the floor; Like the tsunami which kept turning my body around and around and around in the swirl. I could tell this was the most dark in my life. I lost all. What a loser I couldn't even dance !

But I did have a lot of warrior friends and my lovely families :) Thanks !

Dad : " As long as you can recover, I don't mind how much I will spend. "

Mum : " Drink this bird nest ; Do you need anything else? ; I ask your second brother take it for you... ; Eat medicine yet? Try some sweet.. ; "

Brother John : " I bring you to Singapore to see the doctor here ; Don't worry about the fees ; Where else you wanna go still? ; Let's go I bring to buy new year clothes ; If you want it, just take ; Wanna go Universal? OKay! Drink more water you. "

Brother Peter : " This side, another side... *turning my face and checking my progress* ( you gotta see how he and us pranked that arrogant doctor !!! So much fun ! If I ever tell you guys the story :p )

Brother Yuan : " Come try this Aloe face cream, this will make your face cooling." 

Sister Yi Ting : " Come, this one for you...; I can ask my friend to get this for you ; Let me know what you need a week before so that I could order from my friend, more cheaper ! "

Sister-In-Law : " Don't kacau gugu" ( Even though we didn't talk much, I know there're so much concerns from you )

Nephews ( Jun, David, Lele, Xiaoyu ) : " Gugu, what happen to your face? "

( Haha I feel amazing ! Here's the story... There was a night I went back home all of sudden. I asked a favor from a friend of mine who always gives me his helping hands to send me back home. This night, I become the most ugliest girl in this world. Before I go home, I made a call to mom telling her my returning. On that time, family brother Yuan was in the home as that time was school holidays. And you know what my nephews said? " I wanna wait gugu come back first then only I go sleep " But too bad I came back late that night. So when I reached home, they already slept. On the next morning, Lele and Xiao Yu came by my bed side and asking " gugu what happen to your face? pain? " Omggg ! I was so touched ! And I asked them "Gugu not pretty anymore..." they answered me " gugu eat medicine then you will be recovered"...*tears inside my heart* and I asked again, " do you still love gugu?" They nodding their head ... :') On that moment, I know I have to win in this battle...no matter what.  )

But one thing I really need to mention and re-mention. 

I really appreciate for those who kept me strong from the start till now, who never give up on me, who always give me the tissue the arms the hugs the courage when I'm crying, who always spend time to listen my suffers :) 

"GG, I think your are having this kind of syndrome * showing me what she got from the internet * "

"Senseless, you can do it de.. Don't cry lahh... See me wanna cry already..."

"GG, do have faith and I'll pray for you.."

"Dear, just do your best, the rest of the part of this assignment, me and Erna and Ummi will settle it..."

"Butterfly...you go Watson and buy this detox... most importantly drink more water...I wanna go sleep now, not forget mention to you, now it's 3 am which means the ghosts all coming out and find victims to replace soul hahahahaha !!!! " *the clock is pointing 3 am >.< at the moment !!!! damn* 

"Good morning, I just wanna know how is your skin condition.."

"Send me your pictures, don't worry I will be by your side; My mom said this is because your body is very heat, you gotta drink a lot of water..."

"Dear ~ besides try not to apply any skin care or sunblock..; I think most probably because of the campus water supply..; A pretty lady is because of her pretty spirit... so you are my angle... always! ;
All the while people would say that you are pretty and charming because of your attractive attitude... so you are always looking great! "

"Ting, don't eat chicken..*giving me medicine* and yes never take my money :)

"Don't worry, you'll be fine"

"Ting, do you know why your skin getting better? Actually it's not all about the medicine that u taking, it's because of your mood :) Don't stress out... see you are such a cheerful girl now !" *asking me to his hug* 

"Ting, when uncle was young, I faced this problem like you. From that time, I eat orange every single day...Don't sad. Follow my ways :)"

"Cry apa lahhhh.... eat medicine lah youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..... stupid u thought u cry then ur skin can get better ah? * uittt close the door don't let her in * * you shout apa!!!??? * 

"Owhhhh... that time isn't like this.. getting severe this time...; owhhh getting better already" 

Lol ! This is suzannA and 3 biji. I can still remember that was night after I took my bath, I was preparing to eat medicine. I took the medicine and sat on the bed. I looked at the medicine and started crying. Like out loud ! They two were actually talking among themselves at first, and suddenly they silent. Andddd.. ask me to eat medicine... but still I cry and cry and cry and cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy till I willing to pick the pills and eat. Then I sleep. Of course, they made laugh at me after that .. -.-' What a shameeeeeeee >.<

"Be strong..."" Add oil..." etc etc etc....

There are so much so much so much encourages from them ... even though I know my illness make myself said something or did something which might hurt their feelings. I'm here to say sorry again :/ I didn't mean it... 

People said " 患难见真情 ". I learned this. I felt this.

And I guessed, the most happiest moment in my life was the time when I got sick. Haha that's when I got the chance to visit Singapore ! This was in the first ranking among the other happiest moments LOL! :p As I never got the chance to go the theme parks (even in Genting Highlands) ! :p Yes I'm talking about the Universal Studio. Well it might be a totally small thing in your eyes, but for me this was the WORLD ! :p Finally I could fulfill my dream as a child :p

From the moment I decided to begin a new life by accepting what I had now ( my skin condition), this was the first thing that I wanted do --- to live for my family ; and to enjoy my life; to put back the smile on my face; to re-connect with the people that I had pushed away  *even though I know I PREPARE NOTHING FOR MY FINAL* -------> now?????? I score 3.5 above ! God you kidding me??!!!

Can't wait to put photos that I took in Singapore even though I did post it in my FB  :)

Here goes my moments :)

And... I'm lazy to compile already -.-'
Heee...

Well after I'd done my vacation at Singapore, I knew that's time for me to focus in my final examination. Woahh like a busy lady ! From Singapore to Cheras, Cheras back to UKM, UKM to Cheras again then heading to Ipoh to attend my cousin Michele's wedding, and then back to UKM again... wow ~ what a great schedule !

All this while I wanted to send my gratitude to my deary Turtle for accompany me going through my examination periods and practices. Even though I played a lot in the Bilik Budaya while practicing my dance. LOL ! And for the preparation for the final, we finally found the most suitable place to study in the midnight ! McD ~! Hahaha...but we needed to catch the exact time to occupy the plug -.-' hahaha it was fun actually ! Besides, thank you too for teaching me the games' rules. Me was totally KOSONG BRAIN in this matter -.-' So you did have effort making my result can be "seen". Lol.. Oh not forget to mention, my uncle William requested two dancing performances from me as a gifts on his daughter's wedding. As the bride's soul sister, of course I would say yes.. justttt...me faced stress a bit as I didn't really sure what kind of dances to be performed. Meanwhile, I was in the period of final examination. I had a quote, "wait for the right time" which means my idea would be come out when the time was right! I was so stress coz I was so afraid that I couldn't generate any idea! I was gonna think about the theme, how to make audiences easily understand my dances, the size of the stage etc etc.... But luckily, the music that I found was successfully making me easily catch up every single moves ! >< The stage was very very small...-.-' and the emcee was a typical karaoke emcee-.-' She even announced my dance while playing my music, I was like 'whattt?" So before she played the correct music, I kept walking right left right left on the stage to show her how to play music for the dance performance.

Here goes my pretty cousin - Michelle Ong ! Have a great new life with your hubby ! I would pray for you :) And here's my another cousins and families members plus some preparation for my dancing ! :)

p/s : There'll be videos of my dances being uploaded soon at the right hand side of this blog! Do have a look. It's just a simple dance and all I do is improvised :) *me is shy and shame to show it to ur guys* :p :p :p

Now, I am a happy girl. I went to vacation. I had done my final. I had performed in front of my family. I had scored a good result for the last semester. I had found that my skin was getting better. I have my family who really really love me till I don't want to leave them for my whole life. I have friends who never give up on me. And now I have a great accompany which come from Taiwan and his name is Turtle. So for now, I wish I will not have chance to talk about my miserable life. The past is at the past. All I want for now is, I want peaceful life and an unusual life. I'm butterfly yet I'm senseless :)